I mean, this is obviously a societal problem that goes way beyond this scene. So that's not surprising. But yes, I hear you--we judge each other (society sucks that way, making us watch each other so closely for the tiniest mistakes) while we indulge the men. WTF, world. Analogy: "I've met the GREATEST guy. He calls me when he says he will, he compliments me, he doesn't blow me off..." which are like basic standards for normal friendship. AND YET. I think it's a combination of the penis+privilege factor and the fact that people would rather come to fandom for happy thoughts. But then they ought to ignore every piece of fail, no?