I guess what I'm saying is that in the young women who either don't grow up with a strong feminist perspective (like me, with my mom), or with enough non-majority identities that the experiences together act as an aid to seeing how systemic it all is (like you, it sounds like), the route to frustration is shorter because they don't have the context to understand what is happening. But I've seen frustration turn into awareness many, many times. So there's a hope in that too, and that's why it being systemic is a little less sad, because it makes it less personal.
Just as an example, one of my best friends told me very earnestly at 21 that feminism was dead and feminists are all nuts who weren't working hard enough. I smiled at her instead of yelling (because with people I care about, I have a lot of patience--I had the feeling she was worth being patient with), and about a year ago now she told me there were two things she thought were essential and if people were wrong about them she couldn't deal: "abortion rights and equal rights in the workplace." Human beings have a lot of potential for change, basically. So when I see this in younger women, I remember Sara so vividly, and the things she said in her early twenties and how wholeheartedly she has changed now.
However, a development that seems to go backwards is not on. And that's my difference, here. And again, I'm not saying it wasn't problematic or we shouldn't be talking about it, but I think there's a significant difference in the way that fandom has responded to MCR making girl-bashing statements repeatedly (the only one who hasn't done it at this point is Mikey) and Z's one problematic interview. And I think the only place we don't agree is that women have more of a responsibility to get it right than men do--I know you said you don't blame her, but you also said you expect women to get it because of the lives we lead, and I just--traumatic or difficult or even irritating experiences don't automatically bring awareness. And I don't think they should be expected to. I think, like you also said, everyone should be expected to have that kind of empathy--hence the post.
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Just as an example, one of my best friends told me very earnestly at 21 that feminism was dead and feminists are all nuts who weren't working hard enough. I smiled at her instead of yelling (because with people I care about, I have a lot of patience--I had the feeling she was worth being patient with), and about a year ago now she told me there were two things she thought were essential and if people were wrong about them she couldn't deal: "abortion rights and equal rights in the workplace." Human beings have a lot of potential for change, basically. So when I see this in younger women, I remember Sara so vividly, and the things she said in her early twenties and how wholeheartedly she has changed now.
However, a development that seems to go backwards is not on. And that's my difference, here. And again, I'm not saying it wasn't problematic or we shouldn't be talking about it, but I think there's a significant difference in the way that fandom has responded to MCR making girl-bashing statements repeatedly (the only one who hasn't done it at this point is Mikey) and Z's one problematic interview. And I think the only place we don't agree is that women have more of a responsibility to get it right than men do--I know you said you don't blame her, but you also said you expect women to get it because of the lives we lead, and I just--traumatic or difficult or even irritating experiences don't automatically bring awareness. And I don't think they should be expected to. I think, like you also said, everyone should be expected to have that kind of empathy--hence the post.