one moment there was road beneath us (prompts post)

[harborshore]

I wrote today's essay for 14 Valentines on LGBTQ women. Brief TW for a mention of corrective rape (absolutely no description of it) and internalized homophobia.

And on that topic, it's my least favorite holiday tomorrow, but it's Galentine's Day today, and if you want to leave me prompts, I could try writing some ficlets. Because I'd like to show you some love, okay?

Fandoms I can currently write: XMFC, BTVS, DCU (pre-reboot, because I don't know what's going on atm), most things Tamora Pierce has written (or I could post a snippet from the Alex/Thom I'm working on), any book-related fandom you've ever heard me talk about or seen me write in, Leverage, potentially something else I've written in before (but not bandom).

Comments

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I would love anything with Charles! Maybe something about his feeling and attitudes toward sex post-bullet?

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

It's not that he doesn't still want to have sex. That's a preposterous suggestion; of course he wants sex, of course he feels desire. It's mostly that his body doesn't feel like his own, anymore. Sometimes he thinks he can sense the way his nerves were severed and rewired themselves, leaving him with entirely different (and much more unpredictable) erogenous zones.

It's also that it used to be so easy. He has an eidetic memory, he can't forget any of it, any of them, least of all Erik and that short, stunning time they had together. He remembers tumbling Erik into bed, holding him down with a hand and a thought and sucking him off while Erik alternatingly laughed and cursed and begged, pulling at his hair. It's never going to be that easy again.

Also, he has plenty of things to occupy his time. So mostly it isn't even a concern. But sometimes, on evenings when the cares of the day haven't exhausted him, he'll take to his bed to try out this new body, these new nerves. It's not as awful as he initially believes. It's even sort of interesting. But he still feels like his body isn't his own. Which he knows will pass, in time, but still resents.

and the charles/erik bit (actually from something i'm writing)

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

One night he returns to his room and finds Erik there.

"Leave, please," he says. "I'm not going to bother asking how you got through our defenses, we'll figure it out in the morning. But please leave."

"Charles," Erik says, and removes the helmet.

"What--" Charles rubs at his forehead, but doesn't read Erik.

"I can't--I want." Erik says haltingly.

"Don't insult me," Charles says, because he can feel the pity and the guilt without even trying to touch Erik's mind. "Whatever you're about to say, just don't."

"I do want you," Erik says. "I won't--I won't apologize, if you don't want me to, but I can't, Charles, please let me--"

And he thinks at Charles then, as clearly as he ever has, please let me touch you. Charles can feel the want, then, underlying both the guilt and the sheer need to apologize.

"It's not the same," Charles says, and then, to clarify, because he's not sure what's happening in this conversation, "I'm not the same."

"I'd want you even if you were, I don't know, made out of spare parts from a car," Erik says, waving a hand.

Charles snorts. "I'd be made entirely of metal then," he says. "I should think you'd want me then."

Erik smiles at that. "Yes, it is a good thought. But please, Charles. I can't sleep without you, I can't think."

"That bodes ill for your attempt at world domination, doesn't it?" Charles says, but he's smiling.

Re: and the charles/erik bit (actually from something i'm writing)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, oh. Both of these pieces make me really happy. CHAAAAAARLES.

Re: and the charles/erik bit (actually from something i'm writing)

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

I've thought a lot about it, actually. Partly because in fic it's either totally fine immediately or Charles decides he's never having sex again (?) or Erik "fixes" his self esteem problems. I have issues with ALL OF THESE THINGS.