harborshore: (Default)
harborshore ([personal profile] harborshore) wrote2009-06-18 12:21 am

Scratch Your Name: Epilogue

Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue



--


It's been two weeks and four days; they settled on their new headquarters after spending those two weeks switching hideouts faster than was good for any of the injured people. Though the third one was fun: meeting Mikey and Gerard's parents had been both amazing and informative, especially in how much it explained about the Way brothers. And Lindsey will always respect a woman who can rock that kind of bleach.

But having their place is good for everyone. Bob's infection has finally gone down and he's walking better (and Brian is less of a fucking nuisance as a result). Alicia is moving a lot faster, Frank hobbles around with a hilarious boot he made mostly by himself (Ray helped), and the others are maybe starting to look like they might get there eventually. Gerard's fingers aren't functional at all yet, but that isn't getting in the way of him arguing with Lindsey about the mural they're working on.

“I think it needs more blood and guts,” he says decisively, pointing at the scene where she's sketching dancing skeletons.

She raises an eyebrow at him. “You know, there's a point when it just goes beyond thematic.”

“What's your point?” he asks, and she's pretty sure he actually means that.

Sighing a little, she points at the far corner, where she'd started this morning. “We have people eating their own flesh over there,” she says, and then points further up, where she'd balanced on a chair to sketch before. “And there, there are your two bleeding lovers. Also, battle scene. Don't you think we could leave the poor skeletons alone? I'm sure that's why they became skeletons, so they wouldn't have to deal with all those guts and blood anymore. I mean, fuck, there's such a thing as too much, right?”

He smiles. “I like too much.” She rolls her eyes, because of course he does.

Amanda's laughing at them, further down the wall, drawing a set of stars with a marker, half on the wall, half across Dusty's cheeks.

Amanda still walks with a cane, though she's becoming steadier day by day. Dusty is acting as conversation partner and I-will-get-you-the-damn-chair-when-you-need-it partner right now. Their third, Katie Kay, is off with Alicia, trying to figure out the last of the relocations of funds from Chantal’s clothing companies--the money’s coming in now, from the complicated series of transactions that Kitty did at the last minute. This hid the money they need access to now. The problem with a secret hideout is the same as its primary virtue: it's secret, and so you don’t want to be too open about buying large quantities of anything. Thankfully, now that the money has finally gotten through, Katie Kay and Alicia can set up the last needed supply chains so they can keep the operation hidden. Chantal sent them off with excruciatingly clear instructions. It's a good thing they did manage to get Jimmy back for her, or the fact that she's still so limited in what she can do (the tendons in her arm aren't healing quite right) would drive her and everyone else up the wall.

“I agree with the needs more gore,” says Frank from right behind Lindsey, and she jumps, her pencil skidding on the wall.

“Warn a girl,” she says, mock-glaring at him. “And of course you agree. Guys, you know it's not that I give a fuck about the blood, it's that I want some more understated creepy.”

Gerard looks interested. “Like what?”

“Like, okay, what if we sketch the city skyline in the background over here? Only, they're not just houses, you can see their shadows behind them, much bigger, and like they're alive? That's not--that's not exactly subtle, but I remember thinking the city had changed back when it all started. I was never scared of the dark at night before I was ten.”

“You're not scared of the dark now,” Frank objects. Gerard has a faraway look in his eyes, hands moving in little twitches across the portion of wall she'd been gesturing at.

Lindsey shakes her head, swallowing. “My sister gave me my first knife when I was eleven, when she couldn't always walk me home from school anymore. And then she and Steve taught me to use it. That shit helps.”

Frank nods, looking much more serious than he usually does.

Gerard turns around from the wall. “I like it,” he says. “Especially if you can mix it with some of your stuff from before. They should be up here, too.”

She nods, already seeing it. Nighttime and skyline shadows; Steve, Greta, Pete and Cassadee. She wants to see if she can make the music appear up here too, if she can remember the way they smiled and shone on stage. But she thinks she might change the lights some. There’s more than red in her mind now.

“Put yourself in, too,” Mikey says, spinning around on his chair from where he and Kitty are setting up the computers. Vienna still can't use the arm she broke in the fight she got in while leaving the city, or she'd be helping too: her elbow is shattered and it's going to take a fuckload of time to heal. She directs, though, especially when it comes to the equipment they managed to salvage for her.

Lindsey grins back at him, because yeah, that sounds about right. Herself, and “You too, Mikeyway, I want all of you in here.” Change is a tricksy bitch, but damn if there isn't something about all this that just works.

Lindsey hums under her breath, sketching out her new universe across the wall, and listens as Gerard hums along. Amanda starts up, clear and strong in the corner, and Vienna joins in, voice rising the way only hers can. There's a symmetry to singing as you work, singing as you draw, and Lindsey wants the music in every line if she can get it there. She can draw all night if she has to, but she wants to start painting in the morning. They can always repaint it if they start hating something, but only if they want to, not because someone paints over it or washes the walls clean at night.

It's strange to feel freer than ever in a building where your freedom is contingent on you being really fucking careful about when to go outside, but free is the way everyone in here is smiling, even Mikey. Free is the way Bert and Quinn keep climbing up to the roof. Free might be lying to yourself, but there's something, something, and she can't touch it or say it or figure it out, but she thinks she can draw it.


--


Master Post | Part 3 |
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (Default)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 11:36 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly, yes. Not giving in, and all that.

Thank you so much for those kind words, I really, really appreciate it. I love this story stupidly, even though I didn't have time to do everything I wanted to with it, so every time people love it, it makes me so happy.
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (Default)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 11:38 am (UTC)(link)
Belated reply (I just got back from Singapore), but seeing this made me really happy. I'm so, so glad you liked it, and thank you for telling me you did. ♥
ext_51182: Luna Lovegood with a sunflower in her hair (Bandom - Lyn-Z's back)

[identity profile] khana.livejournal.com 2009-08-11 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
That was so good.
The worldbuilding was really well done, dystopias can be so good and creepy and yours really was, especially with the way that reime was just there in Lindsey's life, throuh Ann.
Your Lindsey is a very cool strong heroine, and I really really enjoyed her finding her colors.
Thank you.
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (Default)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2009-08-11 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, thank you so much! That's so good to hear, considering how important the worldbuilding was for me when I wrote it. ♥

[identity profile] antihysteric.livejournal.com 2009-09-04 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
This is stunning. Just -- amazing -- the kind of thing that I can easily imagine as a graphic novel. I flew through reading this because your pacing is fantastic and frenetic, and I can't wait to go back and reread. Off the top of my head, though, I loved: first of all Lindsey -- everything about her here; Mikey changing "Steve's band" to "the band you were in with Steve" (♥); Bob and Brian (that reunion scene was gorgeous); Vienna Teng(!); Vienna Teng/Kitty(!!!); the sense of *community*; how this is grim and sad and difficult but still incredibly heartening and strong.

I love this entire story. I would read a million more words of it, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing it. Not only did it entertain me enormously, it's reminded me of a lot of important things about being a women and being a feminist, especially in fandom but also in general. <3
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (Default)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2009-09-06 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, but this comment made me ridiculously happy. Ridiculously. Because, see, you got it, you got all the little things I was trying to get in there, and your favorites are very nearly the same as mine. Sometimes it felt silly or weird, trying to write a story about things that matter so much to me (community, love, struggling even when it hurts so fucking much), and I wasn't sure I could ever do it justice. But then I get a comment like this one, and I'm left with so much relief that I hardly know what to do with it.

I'm so glad you loved it, and I'm incredibly happy to hear you found it inspiring (my feminism is sometimes very blatant, I'll admit it, and it's nice when people don't mind). I have a lot more stories in my head from this universe, and I don't know if I'll ever get them out, but reviews like yours certainly go a long way toward making me want to. ♥

[identity profile] softlyforgotten.livejournal.com 2009-11-27 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
So, hey, you posted that ficlet of Alicia the other day and I realised to my shock/horror that I never actually read this. I know I read part of the first part and then something happened and I wasn't online for a while, and when I came back I forgot, and that was stupid but I'm kind of grateful now because this was the best way to spend an hour today, for serious.

I just -- the world you've created here, the danger and the darkness and the way people live in it. That first fucking scene -- how utterly shocking and arresting it is, and it's a kind of writing bravery to start a story off with something that evil and not do it to sideline characters but people who mean something: Pete and Greta and Steve, oh. And it's so big and frightening and real; it's like you can feel the edges of it, where the story ends but the world keeps going. I'm going to be thinking about it all day.

The characters in this, too. I mean, Lindsey is amazing, obviously, I love your narration and her voice and the last line, oh my god. But it's the way she sees the others, too, that makes this so brilliant -- Bob&Brian, Chantal&Jimmy, Bert&Quinn (oh Bert), Mikey&Gerard too, but especially, especially Mikey on his own or with Frank or Lyndsey or Kitty, I just loved him so much in this. Lines like: And if it's your brother, Mikeyway, I will help you burn this fucking city to the ground. -- oh, you kill me sometimes. The way you write -- Change is a tricksy bitch, oh hell yes.

Anyway. I am rambly and incoherent but this was amazing, and I can't believe it took me so long to read it, but I'm grateful for my own foolishness because it made today AWESOME. ♥♥♥

I'm going out now, but I'm wearing my Black Parade jacket in honour. ♥
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (feminism)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2009-11-28 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
This comment? This comment made my week, basically. I've reread it at least three times and keep on beaming dopily at the screen whenever I do. You are too fucking good to me--not just because it's a hell of a thing to be told the story you love stupidly (despite all its imperfections) is worth reading, it's also that the way you read it points at so many of the things I love ridiculously.

I mean, the fact that I had to start the whole thing with deaths that meant something for real, oh god. It hurt, writing them (and writing the sequel, which is Patrick/Ashlee/Travis coping with Pete's death and burning down Chicago, it just hurts and I'm not sure I can do it--the beginning alone keeps making me try to figure out a way to retcon Pete's death and I can't) and the way Lindsey keeps missing Steve, because he's her best friend, and she doesn't have him anymore. This was all about friendship and family, obviously, and love. Because that's all I ever write about, really.

Mikey was my favorite. I mean, they're all my favorites, and writing the reunions made me so so happy (Mikey and Gerard! Bob and Brian!) but yes, Mikey and his little comments and missing Gerard and, just, being awesome.

Just love, okay? LOVE.
x_dark_siren_x: (Default)

[personal profile] x_dark_siren_x 2010-01-05 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, oh sweetie. Why did you not make me read this ages ago?

Everything about this is just. I barrelled through it in record time, and was so fully immersed it's actually abit of a shock to come out of it now. It's - everything is so sharp, and blunt, all at once, and I don't think that made any sense, but I don't care, because it just. From the very beginning, when Steve stopped moving, when the others where lined up on stage, I was hooked. It was all dark corners and firelight, broken city skylines highlighted in red and orange and so real and making my heart ache.

No, seriously, why didn't you tell me, tell me to come here and read ages ago?

*mems*

x_dark_siren_x: (Default)

[personal profile] x_dark_siren_x 2010-01-05 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, I'm back, because hey, I have more to say. :)

I would like to point out that before this? Only one person, one writer, could make me like Bert, because I have such problems with him as a person that they're pretty tough to get past. But here, oh. I maybe smiled the whole time he and Lindsey were making cocktails. Um.

And Lindsey! Well, you already know how I feel about her, but while we're talking about the cocktail scene, Ann too. Especially in that scene. Their relationship as sisters, and that last moment, so fragile and jagged, and we're left not knowing if everything's been broken between them, or. Not.

Ohhh, the Bob/Brian (see, I told Tora that I blamed you two for my awakening to this pairing, but seriously, how did I miss it?) and Jimmy/Chantal. ♥___♥ And he wasn't even there for most of it.

Actually, that's something I need to mention. The way everyone had someone they loved in there, even just a friend, but friends are so important here - and you never knew till you knew, till they told you, till Brian broke apart, till Chantal let herself slip, for just a moment, before she had to be all tight, all business and rebellion again. Amanda, for example - she had two, and you would never have known, and I love that. I love how they've all been functioning, in their own way, by either closing down or breaking off in bits, until they're edged and jagged with it, because they know they have to do this, have to keep going, because they would want them to, because it's the only way to get them back.

I feel like there is so much more to be said about this world - which, I guess, I know, but what I mean is, the storytelling, you can tell. As I was told in one of my film classes, the plot (the events which occur within the film, or in this case, fic [am only using this word to avoid confusion later]) is over, finished, but the story (the events which occur beyond the film, or fic) is still going. I want to dive back in, I want to see everything about it. I want - would like, please don't take this as a demand, I'm not that rude >.<- everything about Bob and Brian, about Jimmy and Chantal - everything about the world, all the stories going on outside of this group, like the Chicago side, and how they're so...electric, I guess, and how they're coping without Pete - because he's Pete Wentz, and of course everyone knew him, but he was theirs, it's going to have killed part of them too, and I want to see how they keep going, what they use individually, and together, to make themselves carry on.

And again while on the subject, I agree with Mik, it is incredibly brave to start with something so brutal, to people we already know, have images and associations of. I think it's part of the hook at the beginning that I experienced, and an apt summary and induction to the world - there are knife blades glinting in those dark corners I mentioned, and some of the fire is authorised gunshot. It's not pretty; it's brutal and hard and gritty and you'll be lucky if you don't at least break a few bones.

God, I should shut up, but seriously. I could wax lyrical about this for years and years to come. I know you did more on Alicia, but I would still love to see more on her still, just, even on the periphery (because Alicia could never be background). I just, all of it, darling. Everything you have to give, I'll happily take.
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (feminism)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2010-01-13 11:11 am (UTC)(link)
I've been trying to figure out how to respond to this comment for ages, but I just want to grin and beam and say thank you, thank you, for noticing all these things and for liking this (the stupid, most telling story I've ever written) and for telling me about all the things you noticed. I'm writing the sequel right now, figuring it out, and it's so good to have feedback like this from the first story, so so so good.

Ps. This: like the Chicago side, and how they're so...electric, I guess, and how they're coping without Pete - because he's Pete Wentz, and of course everyone knew him, but he was theirs, it's going to have killed part of them too, and I want to see how they keep going, what they use individually, and together, to make themselves carry on. That's the sequel, baby girl. And then they save the country, etc. ♥

[identity profile] icanbreakthesky.livejournal.com 2010-01-22 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
This is fucking beautiful and heartbreaking and harrowing. I was close to tears at the nightclub scene--especially how Greta reached out for Cassadee's hand so subtly and...okay, everything. I love how damn fierce Lindsey and every single character is, especially the women. Lindsey's admiration and love for Steve made me sad that I never got to get to know that character. The backstory was really naturally integrated without leaving any gaps in knowledge.

I pretty much loved every single thing about this ride.
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (feminism)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Every time someone tells me they loved this, I get this silly little grin on my face, because this is sort of my story about Truth and Beauty and Love, you know? Stupidly obvious about the things I think are more important than anything else in the world, etc. Which, as it turns out it's really difficult to post fic about that, you know? So thank you, thank you, for reading and loving and letting me know. ♥

PS. Look out for a sequel in June! *grins*

[identity profile] blindmouse.livejournal.com 2010-12-31 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
I love the sense of Lindsey finding a place to be what she was supposed to be ♥
ext_3762: girl reading outside in sunshine (feminism)

[identity profile] harborshore.livejournal.com 2010-12-31 12:53 pm (UTC)(link)
The whole reason I wrote the story, yo. ♥

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