Scratch Your Name: Epilogue
Jun. 18th, 2009 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue
--
It's been two weeks and four days; they settled on their new headquarters after spending those two weeks switching hideouts faster than was good for any of the injured people. Though the third one was fun: meeting Mikey and Gerard's parents had been both amazing and informative, especially in how much it explained about the Way brothers. And Lindsey will always respect a woman who can rock that kind of bleach.
But having their place is good for everyone. Bob's infection has finally gone down and he's walking better (and Brian is less of a fucking nuisance as a result). Alicia is moving a lot faster, Frank hobbles around with a hilarious boot he made mostly by himself (Ray helped), and the others are maybe starting to look like they might get there eventually. Gerard's fingers aren't functional at all yet, but that isn't getting in the way of him arguing with Lindsey about the mural they're working on.
“I think it needs more blood and guts,” he says decisively, pointing at the scene where she's sketching dancing skeletons.
She raises an eyebrow at him. “You know, there's a point when it just goes beyond thematic.”
“What's your point?” he asks, and she's pretty sure he actually means that.
Sighing a little, she points at the far corner, where she'd started this morning. “We have people eating their own flesh over there,” she says, and then points further up, where she'd balanced on a chair to sketch before. “And there, there are your two bleeding lovers. Also, battle scene. Don't you think we could leave the poor skeletons alone? I'm sure that's why they became skeletons, so they wouldn't have to deal with all those guts and blood anymore. I mean, fuck, there's such a thing as too much, right?”
He smiles. “I like too much.” She rolls her eyes, because of course he does.
Amanda's laughing at them, further down the wall, drawing a set of stars with a marker, half on the wall, half across Dusty's cheeks.
Amanda still walks with a cane, though she's becoming steadier day by day. Dusty is acting as conversation partner and I-will-get-you-the-damn-chair-when-you-need-it partner right now. Their third, Katie Kay, is off with Alicia, trying to figure out the last of the relocations of funds from Chantal’s clothing companies--the money’s coming in now, from the complicated series of transactions that Kitty did at the last minute. This hid the money they need access to now. The problem with a secret hideout is the same as its primary virtue: it's secret, and so you don’t want to be too open about buying large quantities of anything. Thankfully, now that the money has finally gotten through, Katie Kay and Alicia can set up the last needed supply chains so they can keep the operation hidden. Chantal sent them off with excruciatingly clear instructions. It's a good thing they did manage to get Jimmy back for her, or the fact that she's still so limited in what she can do (the tendons in her arm aren't healing quite right) would drive her and everyone else up the wall.
“I agree with the needs more gore,” says Frank from right behind Lindsey, and she jumps, her pencil skidding on the wall.
“Warn a girl,” she says, mock-glaring at him. “And of course you agree. Guys, you know it's not that I give a fuck about the blood, it's that I want some more understated creepy.”
Gerard looks interested. “Like what?”
“Like, okay, what if we sketch the city skyline in the background over here? Only, they're not just houses, you can see their shadows behind them, much bigger, and like they're alive? That's not--that's not exactly subtle, but I remember thinking the city had changed back when it all started. I was never scared of the dark at night before I was ten.”
“You're not scared of the dark now,” Frank objects. Gerard has a faraway look in his eyes, hands moving in little twitches across the portion of wall she'd been gesturing at.
Lindsey shakes her head, swallowing. “My sister gave me my first knife when I was eleven, when she couldn't always walk me home from school anymore. And then she and Steve taught me to use it. That shit helps.”
Frank nods, looking much more serious than he usually does.
Gerard turns around from the wall. “I like it,” he says. “Especially if you can mix it with some of your stuff from before. They should be up here, too.”
She nods, already seeing it. Nighttime and skyline shadows; Steve, Greta, Pete and Cassadee. She wants to see if she can make the music appear up here too, if she can remember the way they smiled and shone on stage. But she thinks she might change the lights some. There’s more than red in her mind now.
“Put yourself in, too,” Mikey says, spinning around on his chair from where he and Kitty are setting up the computers. Vienna still can't use the arm she broke in the fight she got in while leaving the city, or she'd be helping too: her elbow is shattered and it's going to take a fuckload of time to heal. She directs, though, especially when it comes to the equipment they managed to salvage for her.
Lindsey grins back at him, because yeah, that sounds about right. Herself, and “You too, Mikeyway, I want all of you in here.” Change is a tricksy bitch, but damn if there isn't something about all this that just works.
Lindsey hums under her breath, sketching out her new universe across the wall, and listens as Gerard hums along. Amanda starts up, clear and strong in the corner, and Vienna joins in, voice rising the way only hers can. There's a symmetry to singing as you work, singing as you draw, and Lindsey wants the music in every line if she can get it there. She can draw all night if she has to, but she wants to start painting in the morning. They can always repaint it if they start hating something, but only if they want to, not because someone paints over it or washes the walls clean at night.
It's strange to feel freer than ever in a building where your freedom is contingent on you being really fucking careful about when to go outside, but free is the way everyone in here is smiling, even Mikey. Free is the way Bert and Quinn keep climbing up to the roof. Free might be lying to yourself, but there's something, something, and she can't touch it or say it or figure it out, but she thinks she can draw it.
--
Master Post | Part 3 |
--
It's been two weeks and four days; they settled on their new headquarters after spending those two weeks switching hideouts faster than was good for any of the injured people. Though the third one was fun: meeting Mikey and Gerard's parents had been both amazing and informative, especially in how much it explained about the Way brothers. And Lindsey will always respect a woman who can rock that kind of bleach.
But having their place is good for everyone. Bob's infection has finally gone down and he's walking better (and Brian is less of a fucking nuisance as a result). Alicia is moving a lot faster, Frank hobbles around with a hilarious boot he made mostly by himself (Ray helped), and the others are maybe starting to look like they might get there eventually. Gerard's fingers aren't functional at all yet, but that isn't getting in the way of him arguing with Lindsey about the mural they're working on.
“I think it needs more blood and guts,” he says decisively, pointing at the scene where she's sketching dancing skeletons.
She raises an eyebrow at him. “You know, there's a point when it just goes beyond thematic.”
“What's your point?” he asks, and she's pretty sure he actually means that.
Sighing a little, she points at the far corner, where she'd started this morning. “We have people eating their own flesh over there,” she says, and then points further up, where she'd balanced on a chair to sketch before. “And there, there are your two bleeding lovers. Also, battle scene. Don't you think we could leave the poor skeletons alone? I'm sure that's why they became skeletons, so they wouldn't have to deal with all those guts and blood anymore. I mean, fuck, there's such a thing as too much, right?”
He smiles. “I like too much.” She rolls her eyes, because of course he does.
Amanda's laughing at them, further down the wall, drawing a set of stars with a marker, half on the wall, half across Dusty's cheeks.
Amanda still walks with a cane, though she's becoming steadier day by day. Dusty is acting as conversation partner and I-will-get-you-the-damn-chair-when-you-need-it partner right now. Their third, Katie Kay, is off with Alicia, trying to figure out the last of the relocations of funds from Chantal’s clothing companies--the money’s coming in now, from the complicated series of transactions that Kitty did at the last minute. This hid the money they need access to now. The problem with a secret hideout is the same as its primary virtue: it's secret, and so you don’t want to be too open about buying large quantities of anything. Thankfully, now that the money has finally gotten through, Katie Kay and Alicia can set up the last needed supply chains so they can keep the operation hidden. Chantal sent them off with excruciatingly clear instructions. It's a good thing they did manage to get Jimmy back for her, or the fact that she's still so limited in what she can do (the tendons in her arm aren't healing quite right) would drive her and everyone else up the wall.
“I agree with the needs more gore,” says Frank from right behind Lindsey, and she jumps, her pencil skidding on the wall.
“Warn a girl,” she says, mock-glaring at him. “And of course you agree. Guys, you know it's not that I give a fuck about the blood, it's that I want some more understated creepy.”
Gerard looks interested. “Like what?”
“Like, okay, what if we sketch the city skyline in the background over here? Only, they're not just houses, you can see their shadows behind them, much bigger, and like they're alive? That's not--that's not exactly subtle, but I remember thinking the city had changed back when it all started. I was never scared of the dark at night before I was ten.”
“You're not scared of the dark now,” Frank objects. Gerard has a faraway look in his eyes, hands moving in little twitches across the portion of wall she'd been gesturing at.
Lindsey shakes her head, swallowing. “My sister gave me my first knife when I was eleven, when she couldn't always walk me home from school anymore. And then she and Steve taught me to use it. That shit helps.”
Frank nods, looking much more serious than he usually does.
Gerard turns around from the wall. “I like it,” he says. “Especially if you can mix it with some of your stuff from before. They should be up here, too.”
She nods, already seeing it. Nighttime and skyline shadows; Steve, Greta, Pete and Cassadee. She wants to see if she can make the music appear up here too, if she can remember the way they smiled and shone on stage. But she thinks she might change the lights some. There’s more than red in her mind now.
“Put yourself in, too,” Mikey says, spinning around on his chair from where he and Kitty are setting up the computers. Vienna still can't use the arm she broke in the fight she got in while leaving the city, or she'd be helping too: her elbow is shattered and it's going to take a fuckload of time to heal. She directs, though, especially when it comes to the equipment they managed to salvage for her.
Lindsey grins back at him, because yeah, that sounds about right. Herself, and “You too, Mikeyway, I want all of you in here.” Change is a tricksy bitch, but damn if there isn't something about all this that just works.
Lindsey hums under her breath, sketching out her new universe across the wall, and listens as Gerard hums along. Amanda starts up, clear and strong in the corner, and Vienna joins in, voice rising the way only hers can. There's a symmetry to singing as you work, singing as you draw, and Lindsey wants the music in every line if she can get it there. She can draw all night if she has to, but she wants to start painting in the morning. They can always repaint it if they start hating something, but only if they want to, not because someone paints over it or washes the walls clean at night.
It's strange to feel freer than ever in a building where your freedom is contingent on you being really fucking careful about when to go outside, but free is the way everyone in here is smiling, even Mikey. Free is the way Bert and Quinn keep climbing up to the roof. Free might be lying to yourself, but there's something, something, and she can't touch it or say it or figure it out, but she thinks she can draw it.
--
Master Post | Part 3 |
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-18 12:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 09:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-18 01:55 am (UTC)This kind of makes me want to be a rebel if my world was ever shit like this.
I really wish I had something else to say except wow and then stare creepily.
I just... Yeah. Wow. I'm sort of in love with this.
(Also, your link back to part three at the end of this part is fubard. Just a heads up ;))
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 09:40 pm (UTC)Oh man, I'm so glad the Hushies and the Bob/Brian came off as powerful and important, that's great to hear. ♥
That's what I was trying for, kind of, as silly as it sounds.
You've said plenty--I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback.
Ahaha, thanks! I will never ever post my entry to a fic challenge in the middle of the night again.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 09:42 pm (UTC)And I'm so, so, so glad you liked it and made such fantastic art for it. ♥
(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-18 03:07 am (UTC)AMAZING IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE, WONDERFUL, CRAZY, MIND BLOWING WRITERS IN THIS FANDOM, AND I AM SO FUCKING LUCKY TO KNOW YOU, HOW ARE YOU EVEN REAL? SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS WONDERFUL AND VIVID AND IT JUST PLAYED OUT IN THESE STARK CONTRASTING COLORS IN MY BRAIN, AND EVERYTHING WAS OVERWHELMING AND FAST AND SHARP, AND I JUST. WHAT. YOU'RE AMAZING! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IF WE ARE EVER IN THE SAME CITY, LOOK OUT! I WILL BE THE QUIVERING LITTLE LUMP OF ADORATION THAT JUST TACKLED YOU AND HAS ITS LEGS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR WAIST. 'SUP!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 09:48 pm (UTC)And oh my fucking god, sweetheart, the adoration is so mutual. I still haven't gotten over that gorgeous, gorgeous art you left me, jesus christ, I adore it so fucking much. *clings*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-18 11:51 am (UTC)The imagery was breath taking and Lynz's journey was heartbreaking. Seriously - if I wasn't at work right now, i'd be in tears!!!
*mems*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 10:35 pm (UTC)♥ I will take that as a very high compliment indeed.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-18 11:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-20 10:39 pm (UTC)Just, thank you, love. Thank you.
(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-19 12:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-21 07:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-21 08:44 pm (UTC)What not-gen sequel? *looks innocent* It doesn't have Ashlee Simpson, nope.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-22 05:47 pm (UTC)This ‘verse that you’ve built is the most glorious thing; you sucked me into this world they live in so deeply that it was hard to make the transition back to the real world every time anyone came into my office to ask for something while I was reading it.
“No need to make your knee swell even more--people are going to think you have three boobs and one just slid really low down.”
I LOVE your Frank. Seriously, seriously I do.
“You were awesome. You were in Steve's band, I mean, sorry, you were in a band with Steve?”
\o/ I’m sorry, but I’m never going to get over the awesome that is Mikeyway, okay?
And, and, and the Bob/Brian stuff is still brilliant and I love how you brought Ann back in at the end and… I’ve actually run out of words (unless you want me to quote the whole thing back at you?) but seriously, you did this SO WELL. ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-22 10:37 pm (UTC)Hee, I'm not-so-secretly very proud of that line. It's like, *facepalm*, Frank, and it makes me smile a lot.
NEITHER AM I, man, neither am I. He is the awesomest and you of all people know how much I loved writing the Lindsey-and-Mikey show. :D
The Bob/Brian was such an exercise in showing a lot in very little space, as you know (you were there when I fiddled with it), and I'm glad you think it works. ♥ Ann oh Ann, I never intended for her to be so heartbreaking.
Just love, that's all. YOU.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-24 10:22 am (UTC)i think the best way to express what i loved most about this story is to say that lying behind every word of it i felt this unshakable faith in the tenderness of humanity, and unshakable faith that this tenderness is powerful enough and sturdy enough to resist and defeat any brutality. i love how you showed this tenderness in little glimpses, gestures -- a lot of them literal, like greta's finger touching cassadee's hand, brian kneeling down and holding bob's thigh, the moment when alicia helps lindsey pull out the knife. i fucking love that moment; when you feel like everything just stalls out for lindsey, and then alicia's hand on hers anchors her, shows her how to move forward. we can do together what we could never ever do alone.
thank you for writing this. i'm so glad i know you.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-24 10:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-25 10:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-06-26 08:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-29 04:07 pm (UTC)Flaily comment, as promised. :D
Date: 2009-07-06 09:45 pm (UTC)As much as I would just like to flail and shower you with cyber!cake, this fic deserve SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Lyn-Z is quite possibly my new favorite heroine EVER, because she is just so human and compassionate and fierce and strong and EVERYTHING. I wanted to reach into this and just hug the shit out of her, but at the same time I kind of want to stand back and watch her because she is amazing.
Every time someone died, I cried. This is a weird compliment, because crying generally = not good. But this was so real and gritty and difficult and I couldn't help but cry. It wasn't just the fact that Greta and Pete and so many others lost their lives, it was- They were fighting back! It was underground and smaller than they would have liked, but they were fighting. Idk, it just got me.
And, hey! let's talk about this world you built. Ugh, it gave me shivers. All the mentions of abandoned suburbs and cities, rules and regulations, police brutality (Gerard! Oh, god, that was painful) and then Kitty and Chantal and Brian and the little (well, not so little) family they had! *insert lame metaphor about "lone points of light in a grey and dingy world" here*
At this point, i just want to yell "Frank! Mikey! Briiiiiiaaan! AMANDA FUCKING PALMER!" at you, so I'm just going to say: thank you for this. This will always hold a special place in my heart, and the fact that you're my friend only makes it better.
Re: Flaily comment, as promised. :D
Date: 2009-07-09 08:16 am (UTC)Oh, I'm so glad you felt that way--that's what I was going for, and why I had to write it from her pov. It's--she's amazing, but she's hurting and real too, you know? Stubborn bitches unite and all that.
I will take that compliment, even though I hate making you cry--I don't use character death lightly, it's a trope you have to consider, and so it's good that the deaths affect people, it's important that they do.
That lame metaphor is pretty much the reason I wrote this story, dearest. Exactly and precisely that.
Also I love you, and I'm glad you love this, and I'm going to keep writing in this universe for a while, man. ♥
Re: Flaily comment, as promised. :D
From:(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-08 05:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-09 08:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-20 05:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-10 11:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-30 07:24 pm (UTC)Thank you for a good story, and a reminder of why I push so hard to keep the world from sliding back down that path.
Also: your chatacterization is excellent, believable and human. It's such a relief to see a world that is internally consistent and has people with the same depth and awareness. Seriously, thanks.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-10 11:36 am (UTC)Thank you so much for those kind words, I really, really appreciate it. I love this story stupidly, even though I didn't have time to do everything I wanted to with it, so every time people love it, it makes me so happy.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-11 01:45 pm (UTC)The worldbuilding was really well done, dystopias can be so good and creepy and yours really was, especially with the way that reime was just there in Lindsey's life, throuh Ann.
Your Lindsey is a very cool strong heroine, and I really really enjoyed her finding her colors.
Thank you.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-11 02:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-04 01:47 am (UTC)I love this entire story. I would read a million more words of it, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing it. Not only did it entertain me enormously, it's reminded me of a lot of important things about being a women and being a feminist, especially in fandom but also in general. <3
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-06 10:55 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you loved it, and I'm incredibly happy to hear you found it inspiring (my feminism is sometimes very blatant, I'll admit it, and it's nice when people don't mind). I have a lot more stories in my head from this universe, and I don't know if I'll ever get them out, but reviews like yours certainly go a long way toward making me want to. ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-27 04:40 am (UTC)I just -- the world you've created here, the danger and the darkness and the way people live in it. That first fucking scene -- how utterly shocking and arresting it is, and it's a kind of writing bravery to start a story off with something that evil and not do it to sideline characters but people who mean something: Pete and Greta and Steve, oh. And it's so big and frightening and real; it's like you can feel the edges of it, where the story ends but the world keeps going. I'm going to be thinking about it all day.
The characters in this, too. I mean, Lindsey is amazing, obviously, I love your narration and her voice and the last line, oh my god. But it's the way she sees the others, too, that makes this so brilliant -- Bob&Brian, Chantal&Jimmy, Bert&Quinn (oh Bert), Mikey&Gerard too, but especially, especially Mikey on his own or with Frank or Lyndsey or Kitty, I just loved him so much in this. Lines like: And if it's your brother, Mikeyway, I will help you burn this fucking city to the ground. -- oh, you kill me sometimes. The way you write -- Change is a tricksy bitch, oh hell yes.
Anyway. I am rambly and incoherent but this was amazing, and I can't believe it took me so long to read it, but I'm grateful for my own foolishness because it made today AWESOME. ♥♥♥
I'm going out now, but I'm wearing my Black Parade jacket in honour. ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-28 11:31 pm (UTC)I mean, the fact that I had to start the whole thing with deaths that meant something for real, oh god. It hurt, writing them (and writing the sequel, which is Patrick/Ashlee/Travis coping with Pete's death and burning down Chicago, it just hurts and I'm not sure I can do it--the beginning alone keeps making me try to figure out a way to retcon Pete's death and I can't) and the way Lindsey keeps missing Steve, because he's her best friend, and she doesn't have him anymore. This was all about friendship and family, obviously, and love. Because that's all I ever write about, really.
Mikey was my favorite. I mean, they're all my favorites, and writing the reunions made me so so happy (Mikey and Gerard! Bob and Brian!) but yes, Mikey and his little comments and missing Gerard and, just, being awesome.
Just love, okay? LOVE.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-05 11:11 pm (UTC)Everything about this is just. I barrelled through it in record time, and was so fully immersed it's actually abit of a shock to come out of it now. It's - everything is so sharp, and blunt, all at once, and I don't think that made any sense, but I don't care, because it just. From the very beginning, when Steve stopped moving, when the others where lined up on stage, I was hooked. It was all dark corners and firelight, broken city skylines highlighted in red and orange and so real and making my heart ache.
No, seriously, why didn't you tell me, tell me to come here and read ages ago?
*mems*
♥
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-05 11:34 pm (UTC)I would like to point out that before this? Only one person, one writer, could make me like Bert, because I have such problems with him as a person that they're pretty tough to get past. But here, oh. I maybe smiled the whole time he and Lindsey were making cocktails. Um.
And Lindsey! Well, you already know how I feel about her, but while we're talking about the cocktail scene, Ann too. Especially in that scene. Their relationship as sisters, and that last moment, so fragile and jagged, and we're left not knowing if everything's been broken between them, or. Not.
Ohhh, the Bob/Brian (see, I told Tora that I blamed you two for my awakening to this pairing, but seriously, how did I miss it?) and Jimmy/Chantal. ♥___♥ And he wasn't even there for most of it.
Actually, that's something I need to mention. The way everyone had someone they loved in there, even just a friend, but friends are so important here - and you never knew till you knew, till they told you, till Brian broke apart, till Chantal let herself slip, for just a moment, before she had to be all tight, all business and rebellion again. Amanda, for example - she had two, and you would never have known, and I love that. I love how they've all been functioning, in their own way, by either closing down or breaking off in bits, until they're edged and jagged with it, because they know they have to do this, have to keep going, because they would want them to, because it's the only way to get them back.
I feel like there is so much more to be said about this world - which, I guess, I know, but what I mean is, the storytelling, you can tell. As I was told in one of my film classes, the plot (the events which occur within the film, or in this case, fic [am only using this word to avoid confusion later]) is over, finished, but the story (the events which occur beyond the film, or fic) is still going. I want to dive back in, I want to see everything about it. I want - would like, please don't take this as a demand, I'm not that rude >.<- everything about Bob and Brian, about Jimmy and Chantal - everything about the world, all the stories going on outside of this group, like the Chicago side, and how they're so...electric, I guess, and how they're coping without Pete - because he's Pete Wentz, and of course everyone knew him, but he was theirs, it's going to have killed part of them too, and I want to see how they keep going, what they use individually, and together, to make themselves carry on.
And again while on the subject, I agree with Mik, it is incredibly brave to start with something so brutal, to people we already know, have images and associations of. I think it's part of the hook at the beginning that I experienced, and an apt summary and induction to the world - there are knife blades glinting in those dark corners I mentioned, and some of the fire is authorised gunshot. It's not pretty; it's brutal and hard and gritty and you'll be lucky if you don't at least break a few bones.
God, I should shut up, but seriously. I could wax lyrical about this for years and years to come. I know you did more on Alicia, but I would still love to see more on her still, just, even on the periphery (because Alicia could never be background). I just, all of it, darling. Everything you have to give, I'll happily take.
(no subject)
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