I agree with everything you said in this post. EVERYTHING.
That said, I think the reason why I often hope (not expect, but hope) that women will be more aware is because... I have to do this by analogy.
I am "marked" in three ways: I am female, I am queer and I am Jewish. With the exception of the first, I can pass where it comes to the other two. I choose not to, but that is a choice. That said, I spend a LOT of time listening to non-queer or non-Jewish people say shit that they really shouldn't. And three-fourths of the time, it's not because they mean to be offensive. It's because, having lived their lives as, say, Christian in America, it is quite literally outside their experience to understand what is problematic with their speech.
Now, let me say here: I do not, for a MOMENT, thing that Gerard Way does not understand the problematic connotations of either "cunt" or "ladyboy." I am making a more generalized point here: I hope for women to use less problematic language about women, because they have had to live the experience of being a woman. The knowledge, at least in my experience, is somewhat experiental, rather than taught.
Now, that said, since it is a LEARNABLE issue, once that knowledge has been gained (and, going back to Gerard Way, that knowledge was CLEARLY gained--or, for that matter, Gabe), at that point, I hold the EXACT same hope that I do for women.
I will admit that I was more saddened by Z's comments, but I was more saddened because it felt not only like she had oversimplified something that she should know wasn't simple merely by having lived her life, but because it suggested a lack of empathy that I wish more PEOPLE--not men, not women, transgenders, queers, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, WHATEVER--would have.
Does that make any sense? Because I'm running on fumes and I sense I might be slightly incoherent. I apologize if that is the case.
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Date: 2010-10-02 04:40 am (UTC)That said, I think the reason why I often hope (not expect, but hope) that women will be more aware is because... I have to do this by analogy.
I am "marked" in three ways: I am female, I am queer and I am Jewish. With the exception of the first, I can pass where it comes to the other two. I choose not to, but that is a choice. That said, I spend a LOT of time listening to non-queer or non-Jewish people say shit that they really shouldn't. And three-fourths of the time, it's not because they mean to be offensive. It's because, having lived their lives as, say, Christian in America, it is quite literally outside their experience to understand what is problematic with their speech.
Now, let me say here: I do not, for a MOMENT, thing that Gerard Way does not understand the problematic connotations of either "cunt" or "ladyboy." I am making a more generalized point here: I hope for women to use less problematic language about women, because they have had to live the experience of being a woman. The knowledge, at least in my experience, is somewhat experiental, rather than taught.
Now, that said, since it is a LEARNABLE issue, once that knowledge has been gained (and, going back to Gerard Way, that knowledge was CLEARLY gained--or, for that matter, Gabe), at that point, I hold the EXACT same hope that I do for women.
I will admit that I was more saddened by Z's comments, but I was more saddened because it felt not only like she had oversimplified something that she should know wasn't simple merely by having lived her life, but because it suggested a lack of empathy that I wish more PEOPLE--not men, not women, transgenders, queers, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, WHATEVER--would have.
Does that make any sense? Because I'm running on fumes and I sense I might be slightly incoherent. I apologize if that is the case.