the wrong end of the telescope

I don't think it makes a difference what size you are--as bexless and others have pointed out in the past, there's a certain amount of "If you diet, you're against us" going on in the Fat Acceptance movement, which is really sad, considering that it's a group that is ostracized that then judges others. I don't know. I'm glad you and your friends mostly don't do that--could you try just skipping that part of the conversation? Like, when you're going to eat and someone starts it, someone else can just go "We don't need to do that with each other, right? We don't need to have this conversation." Or something. Because even the shouldn'ts that are followed by support do weird things to us. Like you say, it's a thing we say because we expect support to follow, and if we just skip the whole thing and focus on food as a GOOD thing, maybe?

And I certainly do think there's progress going on, yes. ♥