harborshore | don't forget, don't forget

The end of the year sort of requires a post. I've been quiet lately, but I'm here.

There was Utöya. There was so much grief and so much quiet grace in the way Norway dealt and continue to deal. Starting here makes it harder to go on, because everything else pales a little. But the little things aren't--they're important.

There were new and old friendships that continue to be so important. There was music, so much music: Nellie McKay, Panic at the Disco, Mozart, The Revival Tour (oh, the Revival Tour), listening to Gaslight Anthem over and over, Adele, and many more. There was Arcade Fire, playing the best show I've seen in my life on a warm August night, softening the month-old grief with "Wake Up" and just, magic. Sheer magic.

There was a trip to Boston, coming at precisely the right time. There were people visiting here and letting me show off my city. There was all the food, vegetarian buffets and sushi and Wagamama and chocolate and cake and ice cream and there was my stomach doing better, for the most part. Being less ill was astounding.

There was the realization that I'm less anxious these days, and seeing all the work I did to get to a point where I can react contrary to what my brain wants me to do at least some of the time. There's pride in that, and there's forgiveness and kindness in me for the times that I cannot manage.

There was family, and what would I do without them. There's you lot, and whether I know you in person or not, I'm so grateful for you being there. There was a new fandom with characters that made me interested in writing again. There were books enough that I left off doing the book review meme because I could no longer keep track.

There was getting and losing my job, which was wonderful and then awful, but applying for new ones is showing me just how much I learned. Still sad, but so glad I got to do it.

There's this moment, getting ready to go to a friend's with my sister, and I have no idea what I'm feeling. Love, okay? Here's to a good new year, a happy one.