on critical thinking and not being an idiot

[harborshore]

And the no. 1 way to make me break posting hiatus?

Making me furious. Well, no, none of you did that, but there's been a particular confluence of Groups Behaving Badly Because Everyone Else is Doing It, and I can't write about analytical methods of studying translation unless I get this post out of my system.

This post briefly discusses a community taking the side of a rapist but the focus is on the community behavior, not the rape itself, because it's the pattern I'm after.



So. This is about Constance McMillen, the homophobic douchebaggery in canceling prom because she wanted to attend with her girlfriend, and the fake prom she and other seven students were sent to. This is also about Bjästa in Sweden, the community that took the side of a twice convicted rapist and organized demonstrations in the school in his favor and invited him to graduation despite the restraining order against him. Needless to say, the victim chose not to attend.

I just. The thing that gets to me isn't even the failure of the authorities to do the goddamn right thing, it's that everyone else goes along with it. It's that mentality that says, "I don't actually have to engage in critical thinking, I'm just going to add my voice to the loudest crowd, because I want my prom/that guy is cute and surely didn't rape anyone/the stand-up members of my community are saying one thing, they must be right."

Fuck that shit. It's easier, sure, but it's easier for now, because somewhere in there at least some of the people being idiots know they're doing the wrong thing, just shuffling along, and I don't have a goddamn clue why they cannot find the beat of a different song to dance to. It doesn't take much more than to look and listen, and to make yourself okay with the fact that the easiest choice might be the wrong one. That's our--that's the duty we have, as people. In fact, it's the only real safeguard we have against extremists getting the upper hand because they know how to shout the loudest. I want to live in the world where people accept personal responsibility and do the right thing, I want that world. And not just because I'm an idealist, but because it is goddamn necessary and it is what we have to do, it's what we owe ourselves and the one way we can protect the people who deserve to be protected.

seperis said it really well in her latest post:

You don't do the right thing only when it's easy or convenient or socially sanctioned or in secret. You do it because to do anything else makes you so much less. So much less.

Comments

[x_dark_siren_x]

because somewhere in there at least some of the people being idiots know they're doing the wrong thing, just shuffling along, and I don't have a goddamn clue why they cannot find the beat of a different song to dance to.

Because they're scared. They're scared to do different, be different, and fall out of favour. Because our world allows them to do so, tells them "it's okay - what else could you have done?" Because the right thing to do is so often painted as too radical, too dangerous, when really, it's so simple. The only thing that makes it dangerous is the attotudes of those who oppose it.

*hugs* The world sucks, but it has to get better. We have to make it better. Because I'm not bringing kids into a world already predisposed to hate them.

♥

[x_dark_siren_x]

*attitudes, dammit. I haven't had tea yet.

[thesamefire.livejournal.com]

The only thing that makes it dangerous is the attitudes of those who oppose it.


That is really well said, thank you.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

Oh, well said, thank you. This part especially: The only thing that makes it dangerous is the attitudes of those who oppose it.


Really, apathy and cowardice are the greatest dangers we face. At this point, we just all have to cop to being responsible for what happens not only to us but to the people around us and for the consequences of our actions.

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

Oh bb. :( Some days the world really sucks.

We have to make it better, though. We just have to. I'll quote Lord Peter Wimsey here: things like these are everyone's business.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

Yes we fucking well do have to make it better, and that is an apt quote. For sure. ARGH.

[thesamefire.livejournal.com]

i have a pretty bitchin blanket fort you're welcome to come hide with me in, if you want


:/

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

After I burn down a few buildings or engage in some other suitable manifestation of rage, absolutely. What the fuck, you know? How the fuck does this kind of thing even happen?

On the bright side of things, at least our minister of equality issued a pretty furious statement--she tends to be a bit faily about some things, but this time she got it right. Which, the priest who invited him to graduations despite the restraining order and is now under legal investigation for it? (Our graduations are held in churches.) Somehow the church has failed to say anything about it.

[torakowalski.livejournal.com]

I only found out about the Constance McMillen thing this morning and I'm still shaking with rage over it. I just do not understand the mentality behind that. She's a teenaged girl and she wanted to go to her prom. So the fuck what if she wanted to bring her girlfriend; how does that hurt anyone?

*breathe* Yes, so, I have no thinky thoughts, I just have rage.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

I don't even know. It's so incredibly infuriating. She just wanted to go to her PROM. As is the Swedish thing, because really, seriously? Inviting him to graduation despite the restraining order? WHAT THE HELL. *seethes*

[nthngtoseehere.livejournal.com]

Both of those things are just rage-inducing. Why the hell are people like that? How are young girls so apparently subhuman to so many people that it's okay to bulldoze over them so easily? Why is rape so forgivable, while girls loving girls is not?

Those things seem like the kind of details someone would incorporate into a story if they were trying to write about an ugly world, a world that is built of worst-case scenarios, the kind of world that would be terrifying to live in. But it's the real world. People are really like that.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

Why is rape so forgivable, while girls loving girls is not? Oh fuck, I hadn't even put it together like that in my head. Yeah.

People are really like that, but some of them are not. I think the thing we have to work on is that responsibility aspect of it, the way we must do the right thing and teach our children to do the right thing and to know how to figure out what is right from themselves, not from the ideas of the bigger group. Because there fucking well are enough of us who are not like this, there ARE.

[iamsupernova.livejournal.com]

I've been hearing and reading a lot about the Constance McMillen situation, but aisuhdisdhfudyhf that rapist? Holy fuck, just ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. I hate people. Fuck.

Also, wouldn't inviting him to graduation be, uh, illegal? Since he's being punished by the law, the school should really not punish the person the law is protecting from him by BRINGING HIM TO THE SAME PLACE AS HER or by forcing her to say away! That's stupid and illogical. What was their thought process? "Oh, he's been penalized by law, but we shouldn't withdraw his graduation party privileges for something silly like THAT!"

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

PRETTY MUCH. At least our (often faily) minister of equality issued a furious statement, that's something.

And yes, yes it definitely is illegal! Or very dubious, at least. Technically the person under investigation here is the priest, because Swedish graduations 1-9th grade are held in churches, and he was the one who invited this darling boy. But you'd better believe he's under investigation.

[mrsquizzical.livejournal.com]

so. much. rage.

*hugs*

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

PRETTY MUCH.

♥

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Very well said. I agree completely.

That's our--that's the duty we have, as people. In fact, it's the only real safeguard we have against extremists getting the upper hand because they know how to shout the loudest. The worse part is that society suggests it's impolite to raise a fuss when something is wrong or to be confrontation about issues especially if one is a woman.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, oh, so true. Let's keep the womenfolk quiet, they have nothing to add to the debate anyway. And that same tactic gets used against anyone who isn't a white straight man, really, because they're the only ones who get to claim logical dispassionate arguments.

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why people do what they do. I just don't.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

*hugs* We just have to find all the ones who do speak up and does do the right thing even when it's not easy, right?

[halflinen.livejournal.com]

YES. THIS. I didn't know that Constance McMillen got sent to a different prom (oh, hello, segregation, you dick), and I certainly didn't know about that thing in Sweden. Gross. On both counts. :/

Hats off to seperis. So so SO well said.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

GROSS INDEED. People are so--stupidity is really dangerous. Basically.

[kickingrad.livejournal.com]

I don't get it. I don't get it I don't get it I don't get it.

[harborshore.livejournal.com]

Enough to make you crazy, isn't it? *holds on* I vote we take all the nonconformists and go off and terraform Planet Awesome.