the wrong end of the telescope

I have more than one name for every one of these, and I just had to start writing them down, the things I keep saying and saying. I needed a place for these thoughts, and I'll keep adding to it. Add to it too, if you want.

1. I swear to you, none of what happened was your fault. None of it.


2. You're already amazing. We work so hard to get better, be better, be successful, be happy, have the right life/clothes/partner/job, and I just—I never want to say stop working at being a better person, but I do want to remind you not to forget that you're already great. Yes, that means all of you. Every last one.


3. Similarly, I don't care how many times you think you failed or actually failed this week (this month, this year): you're not actually a failure. And please, for every time you berate yourself for not being there for somebody or for not doing something perfectly, could you also accept a compliment or remind yourself that hey, I did this, and it was good.


4. Beauty standards are stupid.


5. In fact, enforced anything is stupid. Beauty standards, gender conformity, life decisions…


6. If you think you're going crazy because things at work are so strange (people take your projects, people speak to you like you're a child, etc.), you're really not, and it's not just you. Promise.


7. Remember to walk tall. You have no reason not to.


8. Fucking up is just a fast hard way to learn something you didn't want to know. It does not make you a failure or an asshole, it just is.


9. Cut yourself some slack--no one can be the strong, supportive, empathetic and fixing person all the time. There are always going to be people that you won't be able to help. It's okay, it's not your job to help them if you can't keep yourself stable while doing so.


10. You deserve more than that. I swear, I swear, I swear you deserve someone who's there when you need them, who loves you when you're down just as much as when you're up, who gives you back just as much as you give away.


11. Family can be a hell, and sometimes they don't even mean to be. But just because you're related to them doesn't mean they're good for you or that you owe them anything.


12. You are not your work.


13. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.