Scratch Your Name: Epilogue

[harborshore]

Master Post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue



--


It's been two weeks and four days; they settled on their new headquarters after spending those two weeks switching hideouts faster than was good for any of the injured people. Though the third one was fun: meeting Mikey and Gerard's parents had been both amazing and informative, especially in how much it explained about the Way brothers. And Lindsey will always respect a woman who can rock that kind of bleach.

But having their place is good for everyone. Bob's infection has finally gone down and he's walking better (and Brian is less of a fucking nuisance as a result). Alicia is moving a lot faster, Frank hobbles around with a hilarious boot he made mostly by himself (Ray helped), and the others are maybe starting to look like they might get there eventually. Gerard's fingers aren't functional at all yet, but that isn't getting in the way of him arguing with Lindsey about the mural they're working on.

“I think it needs more blood and guts,” he says decisively, pointing at the scene where she's sketching dancing skeletons.

She raises an eyebrow at him. “You know, there's a point when it just goes beyond thematic.”

“What's your point?” he asks, and she's pretty sure he actually means that.

Sighing a little, she points at the far corner, where she'd started this morning. “We have people eating their own flesh over there,” she says, and then points further up, where she'd balanced on a chair to sketch before. “And there, there are your two bleeding lovers. Also, battle scene. Don't you think we could leave the poor skeletons alone? I'm sure that's why they became skeletons, so they wouldn't have to deal with all those guts and blood anymore. I mean, fuck, there's such a thing as too much, right?”

He smiles. “I like too much.” She rolls her eyes, because of course he does.

Amanda's laughing at them, further down the wall, drawing a set of stars with a marker, half on the wall, half across Dusty's cheeks.

Amanda still walks with a cane, though she's becoming steadier day by day. Dusty is acting as conversation partner and I-will-get-you-the-damn-chair-when-you-need-it partner right now. Their third, Katie Kay, is off with Alicia, trying to figure out the last of the relocations of funds from Chantal’s clothing companies--the money’s coming in now, from the complicated series of transactions that Kitty did at the last minute. This hid the money they need access to now. The problem with a secret hideout is the same as its primary virtue: it's secret, and so you don’t want to be too open about buying large quantities of anything. Thankfully, now that the money has finally gotten through, Katie Kay and Alicia can set up the last needed supply chains so they can keep the operation hidden. Chantal sent them off with excruciatingly clear instructions. It's a good thing they did manage to get Jimmy back for her, or the fact that she's still so limited in what she can do (the tendons in her arm aren't healing quite right) would drive her and everyone else up the wall.

“I agree with the needs more gore,” says Frank from right behind Lindsey, and she jumps, her pencil skidding on the wall.

“Warn a girl,” she says, mock-glaring at him. “And of course you agree. Guys, you know it's not that I give a fuck about the blood, it's that I want some more understated creepy.”

Gerard looks interested. “Like what?”

“Like, okay, what if we sketch the city skyline in the background over here? Only, they're not just houses, you can see their shadows behind them, much bigger, and like they're alive? That's not--that's not exactly subtle, but I remember thinking the city had changed back when it all started. I was never scared of the dark at night before I was ten.”

“You're not scared of the dark now,” Frank objects. Gerard has a faraway look in his eyes, hands moving in little twitches across the portion of wall she'd been gesturing at.

Lindsey shakes her head, swallowing. “My sister gave me my first knife when I was eleven, when she couldn't always walk me home from school anymore. And then she and Steve taught me to use it. That shit helps.”

Frank nods, looking much more serious than he usually does.

Gerard turns around from the wall. “I like it,” he says. “Especially if you can mix it with some of your stuff from before. They should be up here, too.”

She nods, already seeing it. Nighttime and skyline shadows; Steve, Greta, Pete and Cassadee. She wants to see if she can make the music appear up here too, if she can remember the way they smiled and shone on stage. But she thinks she might change the lights some. There’s more than red in her mind now.

“Put yourself in, too,” Mikey says, spinning around on his chair from where he and Kitty are setting up the computers. Vienna still can't use the arm she broke in the fight she got in while leaving the city, or she'd be helping too: her elbow is shattered and it's going to take a fuckload of time to heal. She directs, though, especially when it comes to the equipment they managed to salvage for her.

Lindsey grins back at him, because yeah, that sounds about right. Herself, and “You too, Mikeyway, I want all of you in here.” Change is a tricksy bitch, but damn if there isn't something about all this that just works.

Lindsey hums under her breath, sketching out her new universe across the wall, and listens as Gerard hums along. Amanda starts up, clear and strong in the corner, and Vienna joins in, voice rising the way only hers can. There's a symmetry to singing as you work, singing as you draw, and Lindsey wants the music in every line if she can get it there. She can draw all night if she has to, but she wants to start painting in the morning. They can always repaint it if they start hating something, but only if they want to, not because someone paints over it or washes the walls clean at night.

It's strange to feel freer than ever in a building where your freedom is contingent on you being really fucking careful about when to go outside, but free is the way everyone in here is smiling, even Mikey. Free is the way Bert and Quinn keep climbing up to the roof. Free might be lying to yourself, but there's something, something, and she can't touch it or say it or figure it out, but she thinks she can draw it.


--


Master Post | Part 3 |

Comments

[wasoncedelight.livejournal.com]

I love YOU and I love this story, so much. And I love that you let me be a part of the process. <333

[onigaminanashi.livejournal.com]

Oh, DAMN. I nearly passed this one over for not knowing anything about Lindsey or MSI and I'm SO glad I didn't. Except you made me cry for the Hushies. And then killed me with those three paragraphs of Bob/Brian. Like, they weren't a focus, but fuck if it wasn't just as powerful.

This kind of makes me want to be a rebel if my world was ever shit like this.

I really wish I had something else to say except wow and then stare creepily.

I just... Yeah. Wow. I'm sort of in love with this.

(Also, your link back to part three at the end of this part is fubard. Just a heads up ;))

[absenteye.livejournal.com]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I. VEE! I AM ACTUALLY CRYING, REAL TEARS, OH MY GOD. THERE WERE LIKE WAVES OF GOOSEBUMPS ALL OVER MY SKIN, I SERIOUSLY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU DID THAT, BUT HOLY SHIT. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THIS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS ALL THE FEELINGS STUCK IN MY CHEST RIGHT NOW, JESUS. I WANTED TO KICK THINGS AND BURN SHIT AND PUNCH PEOPLE WHILE I READ THIS, BUT I ALSO WANTED TO HUG PEOPLE AND CRY (WHICH I DID ABOUT FOUR TIMES) AND SAVE THEM, AND JUST.

AMAZING IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE, WONDERFUL, CRAZY, MIND BLOWING WRITERS IN THIS FANDOM, AND I AM SO FUCKING LUCKY TO KNOW YOU, HOW ARE YOU EVEN REAL? SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS WONDERFUL AND VIVID AND IT JUST PLAYED OUT IN THESE STARK CONTRASTING COLORS IN MY BRAIN, AND EVERYTHING WAS OVERWHELMING AND FAST AND SHARP, AND I JUST. WHAT. YOU'RE AMAZING! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IF WE ARE EVER IN THE SAME CITY, LOOK OUT! I WILL BE THE QUIVERING LITTLE LUMP OF ADORATION THAT JUST TACKLED YOU AND HAS ITS LEGS WRAPPED AROUND YOUR WAIST. 'SUP!

[tygermine.livejournal.com]

This was a phenomenal story and eerily prophetic in a way. Just look at the world around us - censorship is makign a come back.

The imagery was breath taking and Lynz's journey was heartbreaking. Seriously - if I wasn't at work right now, i'd be in tears!!!

*mems*

[extemporally.livejournal.com]

God, I don't even know what to say. I just - I think this is wonderful and I love it, okay? Stories about art and music and rescues and fighting back are the greatest, and the fact that you wrote it, in this way, just made it fantastic.

[tescohatesme.livejournal.com]

this is awesome. everything just felt so real, y'know? the second part made me cry actual tears, which, just so you know, not one fic has ever done before. sorry I'm not leaving more in depth feedback or whatever, but I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely love this.

[velocityoftime.livejournal.com]

I don't even have the words to tell you how incredible this is. I don't even have a favorite part, because everything was SO GOOD. I love the universe you created, and this is so amazing and so awesome and really, really gorgeous writing. You nailed EVERYTHING.

[mourning-night.livejournal.com]

This is an incrediable story. I really liked how even in the end things were still uncertain and the government was still there. I was really happy to see a LynZ story and to have as just gen was 100 times more awesome (not that LynZ pairing would have been bad I just am tickled that it's just Her story not the story of her relationship with somebody). The descriptions of art were really good and Ann's appearance at the end was awful and sad.

[nightlilac.livejournal.com]

This is seriously wonderful and inspirational. You wrote the characters so well, beyond their normal stage personas, I feel like I'd give anything to be friends with them, y'know? And I love that there were just so many awesome women in this as well. I wanted to cry so many times, because Steve, and what they did to Alicia, and poor Gee's hands; but then there was Bob's reunion with Brian, and the Way brothers together at last! And oh god, this: Mikey's grinning a little at them both. “What?” Lindsey says, quirking an eyebrow at him but not letting go of either of them. She should wash up, but she can't see any water, so she's not taking a step back to actually look at her arms, no thanks, that's not quite what she feels like doing right now. “You're just so fucking alike, is all.” ♥ I can't wait to see any sort of not-gen sequel you might write :)

[torakowalski.livejournal.com]

OMG honey, you know I love this right? I loved it back in April. But do you have any clue how much MORE I love it now??

This ‘verse that you’ve built is the most glorious thing; you sucked me into this world they live in so deeply that it was hard to make the transition back to the real world every time anyone came into my office to ask for something while I was reading it.

“No need to make your knee swell even more--people are going to think you have three boobs and one just slid really low down.”

I LOVE your Frank. Seriously, seriously I do.

“You were awesome. You were in Steve's band, I mean, sorry, you were in a band with Steve?”

\o/ I’m sorry, but I’m never going to get over the awesome that is Mikeyway, okay?

And, and, and the Bob/Brian stuff is still brilliant and I love how you brought Ann back in at the end and… I’ve actually run out of words (unless you want me to quote the whole thing back at you?) but seriously, you did this SO WELL. ♥

[graceoftheworld.livejournal.com]

i will read any fic that is lyn-z centric and i will read any fic that is ABOUT THE REVOLUTION and i will read any fic that you write, but even with these guaranteed indicators of awesomeness this fic was even more awesome than the awesomeness i was expecting.

i think the best way to express what i loved most about this story is to say that lying behind every word of it i felt this unshakable faith in the tenderness of humanity, and unshakable faith that this tenderness is powerful enough and sturdy enough to resist and defeat any brutality. i love how you showed this tenderness in little glimpses, gestures -- a lot of them literal, like greta's finger touching cassadee's hand, brian kneeling down and holding bob's thigh, the moment when alicia helps lindsey pull out the knife. i fucking love that moment; when you feel like everything just stalls out for lindsey, and then alicia's hand on hers anchors her, shows her how to move forward. we can do together what we could never ever do alone.

thank you for writing this. i'm so glad i know you.

[girlintheband.livejournal.com]

Love this. I can't get enough of the rebelling-against-regimes type of fiction, and this completely satisfies my need. Particularly because it has Lindsey as the main character. Perfect.

[moondarri.livejournal.com]

revolution! this was a fucking great read. what i loved the most were the descriptions of lyn-z's motivation for freedom & art & music, there was something really true & pure in that. & i love, more than is probably healthy, the incorporation of chantal & amanda in this fic. ♥

[electrumqueen.livejournal.com]

holy fuck, this is amazing.

[liketheroad.livejournal.com]

This was EPIC, darling. EPIC I TELL YOU. The writing is so beautiful, the story is griping and feels so raw and true. Ugh. The friendships! And GETTING GEE and that last line, so so beautiful. Love it, love you.

[cleodoxa.livejournal.com]

I really liked this; it had a lot of power. I always know someone can write well when they get me all caught up in action scenes instead of bored by them. I read this a few days ago and I still have a lot of scenes very clear in my mind. You portrayed the way Lindsey uses her artistic talent to express her vehemence very well and that combination of passion with visual imagery pervades the whole fic.

Flaily comment, as promised. :D

[strange-bt-true.livejournal.com]

SO. *deep breath*

As much as I would just like to flail and shower you with cyber!cake, this fic deserve SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Lyn-Z is quite possibly my new favorite heroine EVER, because she is just so human and compassionate and fierce and strong and EVERYTHING. I wanted to reach into this and just hug the shit out of her, but at the same time I kind of want to stand back and watch her because she is amazing.

Every time someone died, I cried. This is a weird compliment, because crying generally = not good. But this was so real and gritty and difficult and I couldn't help but cry. It wasn't just the fact that Greta and Pete and so many others lost their lives, it was- They were fighting back! It was underground and smaller than they would have liked, but they were fighting. Idk, it just got me.

And, hey! let's talk about this world you built. Ugh, it gave me shivers. All the mentions of abandoned suburbs and cities, rules and regulations, police brutality (Gerard! Oh, god, that was painful) and then Kitty and Chantal and Brian and the little (well, not so little) family they had! *insert lame metaphor about "lone points of light in a grey and dingy world" here*

At this point, i just want to yell "Frank! Mikey! Briiiiiiaaan! AMANDA FUCKING PALMER!" at you, so I'm just going to say: thank you for this. This will always hold a special place in my heart, and the fact that you're my friend only makes it better.

[hikarinotabi.livejournal.com]

Absolutely amazing, especially the level of world detail and the dystopian feel of it. Thank you. <3

[anoneknewmoose.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I finally read this. It's fantastic and just really well done. Bravo!

[flamingsword.livejournal.com]

My belief is that as long as you fight, you are free. Maybe that freedom is only in your head, but that's where everything starts, right?

Thank you for a good story, and a reminder of why I push so hard to keep the world from sliding back down that path.

Also: your chatacterization is excellent, believable and human. It's such a relief to see a world that is internally consistent and has people with the same depth and awareness. Seriously, thanks.

[khana.livejournal.com]

That was so good.
The worldbuilding was really well done, dystopias can be so good and creepy and yours really was, especially with the way that reime was just there in Lindsey's life, throuh Ann.
Your Lindsey is a very cool strong heroine, and I really really enjoyed her finding her colors.
Thank you.

[antihysteric.livejournal.com]

This is stunning. Just -- amazing -- the kind of thing that I can easily imagine as a graphic novel. I flew through reading this because your pacing is fantastic and frenetic, and I can't wait to go back and reread. Off the top of my head, though, I loved: first of all Lindsey -- everything about her here; Mikey changing "Steve's band" to "the band you were in with Steve" (♥); Bob and Brian (that reunion scene was gorgeous); Vienna Teng(!); Vienna Teng/Kitty(!!!); the sense of *community*; how this is grim and sad and difficult but still incredibly heartening and strong.

I love this entire story. I would read a million more words of it, and I'm so grateful to you for sharing it. Not only did it entertain me enormously, it's reminded me of a lot of important things about being a women and being a feminist, especially in fandom but also in general. <3

[softlyforgotten.livejournal.com]

So, hey, you posted that ficlet of Alicia the other day and I realised to my shock/horror that I never actually read this. I know I read part of the first part and then something happened and I wasn't online for a while, and when I came back I forgot, and that was stupid but I'm kind of grateful now because this was the best way to spend an hour today, for serious.

I just -- the world you've created here, the danger and the darkness and the way people live in it. That first fucking scene -- how utterly shocking and arresting it is, and it's a kind of writing bravery to start a story off with something that evil and not do it to sideline characters but people who mean something: Pete and Greta and Steve, oh. And it's so big and frightening and real; it's like you can feel the edges of it, where the story ends but the world keeps going. I'm going to be thinking about it all day.

The characters in this, too. I mean, Lindsey is amazing, obviously, I love your narration and her voice and the last line, oh my god. But it's the way she sees the others, too, that makes this so brilliant -- Bob&Brian, Chantal&Jimmy, Bert&Quinn (oh Bert), Mikey&Gerard too, but especially, especially Mikey on his own or with Frank or Lyndsey or Kitty, I just loved him so much in this. Lines like: And if it's your brother, Mikeyway, I will help you burn this fucking city to the ground. -- oh, you kill me sometimes. The way you write -- Change is a tricksy bitch, oh hell yes.

Anyway. I am rambly and incoherent but this was amazing, and I can't believe it took me so long to read it, but I'm grateful for my own foolishness because it made today AWESOME. ♥♥♥

I'm going out now, but I'm wearing my Black Parade jacket in honour. ♥

[x_dark_siren_x]

Oh, oh sweetie. Why did you not make me read this ages ago?

Everything about this is just. I barrelled through it in record time, and was so fully immersed it's actually abit of a shock to come out of it now. It's - everything is so sharp, and blunt, all at once, and I don't think that made any sense, but I don't care, because it just. From the very beginning, when Steve stopped moving, when the others where lined up on stage, I was hooked. It was all dark corners and firelight, broken city skylines highlighted in red and orange and so real and making my heart ache.

No, seriously, why didn't you tell me, tell me to come here and read ages ago?

*mems*

♥